Got dirt?

Then there is no logical reason to support the racketeering operations of the floral industry. What a crock. Grown men panicking over what kind of flowers to get their women for Valentine's Day.

The way I see it, they had two options:

-First of all, these men should have ordered earlier if their fairer counterparts were that intent on receiving these earth loogies -- think about that phrase.

-Secondly, the men could have pressed the following agenda to couteract the effects of the chick flick industry: if flowers truly mean the world to a woman as she says they do, she would spend more time seeking them in the freaking forests and fields than browsing aimlessly inside clothing, lotion, candle and/or electronic stores at the mall.

If the former sounds like your girl, get your butt to the florist, and if the latter fits the bill, get her a pair of pants or something from one of her favorite stores. It's what she wants, and she'll see that when she comes down off her hysteria rocket. Nothing says "I love you" to the latter like something that lives past a week. Plus, it gives her more of a chance to make the other girls jealous, and isn't that what it's all about?

Oh, and don't believe the lie that price doesn't matter. You as a guy should spend so much on her gift that she'll need to return yours just to afford groceries -- this only applies if the two of you are living on the same income. That is the only way to make the latter girl happy, and thus flowers step in to accomplish this role by being completely overpriced.