tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44891072946261179182024-02-18T22:11:31.727-06:00Small and at largeDavid Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.comBlogger484125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-45123893336246438312013-06-01T23:53:00.001-05:002013-06-01T23:53:35.530-05:00The Ahockeylypse, or Glutton for PunishmentFriday night - evacuated from the arena to the underground parking structure before they canceled the game due to the tornadoes and flooding. Trapped in the leaking arena until they announced the reopening of the interstates.<div><br></div><div>Saturday night - home team was shut out decisively, and opponent evened the conference finals series.</div><div><br></div><div>Sunday afternoon - why would I return to the place of consecutive letdowns? I'll let you know when I get there.</div>David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-19936818045088571842013-04-06T11:20:00.001-05:002013-04-06T11:20:30.285-05:00Bean me up, ScottyI imagine sales were really low during the first 60 years. You know, before the Internet really took off. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_FwOtQ9wu5AsatTZAX1d1FD2XZA9WxJdB50ZxWBwshG3oU5ZJPSCqE13NkazdFKG9fnx8rcSawfJVKT2Zx4xs72ZDZFn5e1wgLXM8exKO7T3tnVAmaiOfAk7dZ-124r-RmbVGGJMe70CV/s640/blogger-image--912591929.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_FwOtQ9wu5AsatTZAX1d1FD2XZA9WxJdB50ZxWBwshG3oU5ZJPSCqE13NkazdFKG9fnx8rcSawfJVKT2Zx4xs72ZDZFn5e1wgLXM8exKO7T3tnVAmaiOfAk7dZ-124r-RmbVGGJMe70CV/s640/blogger-image--912591929.jpg" /></a></div>David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-76663655686948476072013-03-15T07:52:00.001-05:002013-03-15T07:54:34.820-05:00!!!What possible message could three exclamation points convey that one cannot? It's not like we speak in punctuation. Why do some insist on writing in it as a substitute for their lack of interest? <br />
<br />
Oh, you just got engaged. Rather than making the lengthy "Highlander" reference necessary to show you how excited I am for you, let me just cap off the "Congrats" text that took me three milliseconds to type with 48 exclamation points. That'll make up for the fact that I barely care. <br />
<br />
At the very least, please turn off your group MMS setting before sending me big news. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-41897106282879799422013-02-12T10:46:00.001-06:002013-02-12T10:46:39.866-06:00She loves me for meIf we were all the same, imagine how long the lines for the bathroom would be. David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-35512048873228703102013-02-07T12:57:00.001-06:002013-02-07T12:57:05.476-06:00+Speaking of social media, isn't it tiresome how some people only use it to complain? <br />
<br />
I'm developing a 140 character service dedicated just to people like that. I call it Bitter.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-51546746130953237412013-02-07T11:56:00.001-06:002013-02-07T11:56:25.885-06:00Why aren't you at your post?Please tell me I'm not the only one nerdy enough to see this reference immediately from across the room. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJboxuK3oFXCaZuBHjgIv9zz1M2dzY2Xt6Cwn6PzJPkIRwGQasTibupf-crqFKmp7oKGs3R1gCydBFCI8605pPWmMF8qzHc6cCA2qBWAJsbwmO7lBlEeU17xLJqd2ZL9oYhA374LhC8ZCb/s640/blogger-image--123259018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJboxuK3oFXCaZuBHjgIv9zz1M2dzY2Xt6Cwn6PzJPkIRwGQasTibupf-crqFKmp7oKGs3R1gCydBFCI8605pPWmMF8qzHc6cCA2qBWAJsbwmO7lBlEeU17xLJqd2ZL9oYhA374LhC8ZCb/s640/blogger-image--123259018.jpg" /></a></div>David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-21429475642822282172013-01-15T22:19:00.000-06:002013-01-15T22:34:31.291-06:00A warning to all who would buy LeapFrog products (as told by an email reply to customer service)Thanks for responding. Unfortunately, the "remove device" function is
located under the "general" tab and not the "advanced" tab as you
stated. Also, once you remove the devices under settings the "OK" button
does not highlight. That leaves me with only the option of clicking the
"Cancel" button, which surely contributes to the perseverance of my
four Tag Junior profiles and two My Pal Violet profiles (again, we only
own one of each of these toys).<br />
<br />
I even deleted the app, deleted
my child from the account via your website, and deleted the connected
toys from there. I reloaded the LeapFrog Connect application after this,
and lo and behold the six profiles were still there. Childless.
Staring. Mocking. Of course I tried all of this before contacting you,
because I'm not computer illiterate as those who work for LeapFrog must
be. It's a tough economy. I guess everyone's slacker nephew needs a job,
even if it means making the jump from pizza delivery boy to software
programmer in the same week. So now my question is twofold: "Should I
sell these toys on Craigslist or Ebay?" and "How do I delete my parent
account permanently?"<br />
<br />
I guess I have a third question, too. Do
you have the number to VTech? My kid has a few of their toys, and she
has learned quite a bit from them. The only thing LeapFrog toys have
taught her are the colorful expletives daddy uses when using your
horrendous software. <br />
<br />
I know this isn't your fault, Arjay F., but
please pass my sincerest "f#%k you very much" to your superiors as
high as it'll go. Those are the people I blame for the train wreck they
call LeapFrog Connect. Everyone wants to adopt the Apple model of
controlling every aspect of their customers' experience when using their
products, but the product has to be intuitive and functional for
everyone using them if this strategy is going to work. The toys are made
FOR children, but it doesn't mean the software should be designed BY
children.<br />
<br />
Now if you'll just let me know how to delete my parent
account so I can mentally sever myself from this experience, I'll show
myself the door.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-42646276222168731632013-01-14T09:48:00.001-06:002013-01-14T09:48:19.627-06:00A clepto steals and a liar lies. You should watch out for those silent
guys.One of the benefits of working in loose connection with family is the ability to get honest assessments. Some people are too afraid of their own opinions to give a true answer to a question while others take pride in their ability to lambaste everything presented to them, whether they are genuine.<br />
<br />
Thus, it is nice to confirm that one of my key personnel is as bad at her job as I thought. Glad I wasn't missing anything. Not that it matters, because she and the supervisor have a whole Super Single Moms Club thing going. So what's the point in reaffirming this belief? Now I know to leave her out of the process until there is something trivial to handle.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-89876634796953505072013-01-07T12:35:00.001-06:002013-01-07T12:35:47.327-06:00Just a series of blurs like I never occurredAt the beginning of each of the last three years, I track my progress over the last decade. What makes sense now? What has remained embarrassingly the same?<br />
<br />
This kind of introspection takes well documented records of what mattered to 18 year old me beyond the obvious matters of importance to all boys that age. A daunting task complicated by the lack of a journal resulting from the arrogance of a once unfailing memory and the dissolution of a letter writing culture. By that age our parents had ceased the video documentary attempts, and who has time to scrapbook honestly? I can, however, rely on the 13-year-old archive hidden within my first personal email account. <br />
<br />
Going back a decade the first two years wasn't surprising. Of course nothing from when I was 16 or 17 had any real bearing on my future exploits. It was like reading the correspondence of a stranger. I'd even forgotten most of the other people in those conversations. Based on my language, it seemed I was even aware then how useless my activities would be in the long run. I was just biding my time until I could leave. <br />
<br />
Notsomuch this year. I found a hinge. It was a period of time that swung me in a completely new direction. Funny how we don't forget with our best attempts and lose so much without trying.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-69714009798039735602012-12-27T16:09:00.001-06:002012-12-27T16:09:30.709-06:00Stuck in the middlePeople often wondered why Amy and I clicked when we first got together. My boss even wondered if I should find someone suited to my personality. But it's all about balance. If you never have high highs, you never have low lows.<br />
<br />
We are the insulated economy of relationships. David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-54222798851354119692012-12-18T10:17:00.001-06:002013-01-14T09:33:21.256-06:00She's gonna build a toyland townTesting out this year's gift options. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFZyXs2TBFQ2MIoqJlhttZ9OLqTlP3c6fvRvEimdQ1EdwGMgs_vlrqKZab7GxN2vjkSdIv0MhE5zZC4qv0WApcbK_q5f71KQ8eHonZ4kyeZXJQdby7oBSHEhDi1n4sIss-w2ATFEsrdc8Q/s640/blogger-image--1421046547.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFZyXs2TBFQ2MIoqJlhttZ9OLqTlP3c6fvRvEimdQ1EdwGMgs_vlrqKZab7GxN2vjkSdIv0MhE5zZC4qv0WApcbK_q5f71KQ8eHonZ4kyeZXJQdby7oBSHEhDi1n4sIss-w2ATFEsrdc8Q/s640/blogger-image--1421046547.jpg" /></a></div>David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-58967847417630214752012-12-13T14:14:00.001-06:002012-12-13T14:14:52.196-06:00Do they know it's Christmastime at all?This must be what Christmas trees look like in the Southern Hemisphere. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzWS5Vp6NJUWMMUQeRWIhlot1gQrxe2m5W0DbiHgxeEWMQesgSdm0ygHw7aXyZf09kIx9ofgZA1G_4G_aJ6g9VFttgzyKT9kPaF4ImxKaH0dMLxl2bEnz1I-oZ5n_nIBsU2TFFeAQp5fLp/s640/blogger-image-948145397.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzWS5Vp6NJUWMMUQeRWIhlot1gQrxe2m5W0DbiHgxeEWMQesgSdm0ygHw7aXyZf09kIx9ofgZA1G_4G_aJ6g9VFttgzyKT9kPaF4ImxKaH0dMLxl2bEnz1I-oZ5n_nIBsU2TFFeAQp5fLp/s640/blogger-image-948145397.jpg" /></a></div>David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-38933841962685220802012-12-11T16:59:00.001-06:002012-12-11T16:59:48.368-06:00Imagination will take me back on an old park benchFor all of us who have ever thought there just aren't enough park benches in bathrooms <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzamW4GNh9KFj8hdT6xz3uFJ5qqJ0kHbEp9EWb-uU7v1g1Zuu3gfXHL0Zig73VITFqxSJ02A1ymen_P4i7DevczI2aCkhizFxXjmXz2On2BNK2ZwSuwfMKRsYRMY-ZOOsH5B281qgnwMcN/s640/blogger-image-156751020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzamW4GNh9KFj8hdT6xz3uFJ5qqJ0kHbEp9EWb-uU7v1g1Zuu3gfXHL0Zig73VITFqxSJ02A1ymen_P4i7DevczI2aCkhizFxXjmXz2On2BNK2ZwSuwfMKRsYRMY-ZOOsH5B281qgnwMcN/s640/blogger-image-156751020.jpg" /></a></div>David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-10805073912140721182012-12-10T20:42:00.001-06:002012-12-10T20:42:31.079-06:00It is always the kids' faultHere is the transcript from a weeklong text conversation regarding all the bad things we blame on kids. Each line includes a text message with our three offerings:<br />
<br />
Sickness. Poverty. Divorce.<br />
Slavery. Murder. Arsen. <br />
Racism. War. Taxes.<br />
Ryan Seacrest<br />
Death. Reading. Bieber<br />
Car wrecks. Cirque du soleil. Skinny jeans.<br />
Credit cards. Fast food. Half finished sente....<br />
Pantylines. RSVPs. Cup stacking. <br />
Fruit with seeds. Short hair on women. Stds<br />
College textbooks. Scrubs for female nurses. HOV lane gridlock.<br />
Wnba. Sugar free anything. Toe socks<br />
Brown mustard. Size 0. Frenemies. <br />
Cleveland sports teams. Off brand toilet paper. Sequels<br />
Half siblings. Egyptian cotton. Men's bikini briefs<br />
Unproven theories. Handicapped parking. <br />
Unleaded premium. The fiscal cliff. CSI Miami. <br />
Splinters. Letterman. Spiders<br />
Earbuds. Paper cuts. Pet insurance.<br />
Hangnails. Tattoo removal. Cruise control<br />
Fragrant hand sanitizer. Smallpox. Hipsters. <br />
Flat sodas. Mole hair. No solid proof of bigfoot<br />
The silverdome. Airline food. Drivers from Texas. <br />
Drivers from Louisiana. The wii. Boost mobile<br />
Lost classics. Small billed fedoras. Backne.<br />
Pre approved credit cards. Dry clean only clothes. School zones<br />
The ACLU. Coffee houses. The TEA party<br />
Naacp. Heroin. Non alcoholic beer<br />
Haircuts. Elmo. Low carb pita bread<br />
Shaving. Penis enlargement pills. Store bought chinese food<br />
Conference calls. Sales reports. Network executives<br />
Pulled muscles. Sinus problems. Living expenses<br />
Bumper stickers. Expiration dates. Shirt tags<br />
Loose change in your shoe. Commercials. Christmas songs<br />
Carb counting. Landscape design. 3d ultrasounds<br />
Puzzles. Alphabet. Greek mythology<br />
Communism. Missing teeth. Facebook. <br />
Barney. Gas prices. Tofu<br />
Arab spring. Typhoid. Cattle rustling.<br />
Apple bottom jeans. Boots with fur. Maury<br />
Monogamy. Celibacy. Adultery. <br />
Chicken pox. Shipping boxes. Gaining street cred.<br />
Skin care kiosks. Predator drones. Losing street cred. <br />
Oil changes. Oatmeal. Sweet potatoes<br />
Carbon copies. Surge protectors. The second die hard movie<br />
Assissting the elderly. Over tipping. Being under tipped<br />
Instagram. Morning radio. Antisemitism.<br />
Diesel trucks. Flap jacks. Waiting<br />
Jazzercise. Bmx as an Olympic sport. The Star Wars prequels.<br />
Chinese drivers. Backsplash while pooping. Walking dead writers<br />
DVD extras. Reserve police officers. The demise of super soakers. <br />
Final season of scrubs. Crabs. Nickelback<br />
Water fountains with low flow. Patent leather. Environmental terrorism. <br />
Non whitening toothpaste. Squirty dumplings. When shampoo and conditioner are separated<br />
Manscaping. Other lip balm than chap stik. Hick hop music. <br />
Mini coopers. Hamburger helper. Waiting tables<br />
19th century American literature. Quadratic equations. Pants hangers. <br />
Dental floss. Chivalry. Yippy dogs<br />
Bean bag chairs. Teflon. The last tissue.<br />
Cowboy hats. Dull pencils. Lazy eyes<br />
Friends who leave Xbox parties. Rape. Shopping carts. <br />
Girls who are a tease. Pogo sticks. Douches<br />
My multiplayer performance. Catfish that isn't fried. Ziplines<br />
Clunky game movement. Sea turtles. Skeletons<br />
Freeze dried yogurt. The roger Moore bond films. Hawaiian print<br />
Non dairy creamer. Lizards without tails. Customer service<br />
Poison ivy. Cuticles. Breakfast anywhere but Tiffany's. <br />
Distant relatives. Subbed toes. The wave at sporting events<br />
Candy stripers. Funnel cakes without powder sugar. Parcheesi.<br />
Old people driving. Chickens crossing roads. Delivery charges<br />
Burnt hibachi food. Wives on hunting trips. The smoky mountains. <br />
I love ny shirts. Freshmen winning the heisman. Food not cooked thoroughly <br />
Chain sneezing. Puréed alternatives. Octagons<br />
Mistaking dog food for people food. Hot air balloons. The color orange<br />
Twins. Tv personalities. Bpa<br />
Knock knock jokes. Saints fans. Cold weather<br />
Canned chili. Bassoon players. Repeat offenders playing for the Cowboys.<br />
Friends going after another friends team. Friends trying to hurt another friends feelings. Friends succeeding in hurting another friends feelings<br />
Friends who read into things too personally. Overlooking the most recent incident in favor of making the Chiefs reference. Flan. <br />
Small dogs. Directv. Neighbors<br />
People who can't find north. The smell of a heater that hasn't kicked on in months. Brown belt with black shoes. <br />
Only bathroom being upstairs. Know it alls. Scary movies that arent scary<br />
Deadlifts. The last Oreo. Hydroplaning.<br />
Athletes foot. Shrinkage. Irritated pimples<br />
Hubcaps that are hard to steal. Irreverent reverends. Kids in theaters.<br />
Politcians. Debt collectors. Deflated balloons<br />
Broken taillights. Overuse of the word epic. CD packaging<br />
Underuse of the word epic. Driving in heavy rain. Stink bugs<br />
Saying OMG out loud. Spanglish. Good liquor stores in bad neighborhoods.<br />
Living next to a fir station. Girls calling me dude. Banana hammocks<br />
People who think gay is the new black. Burnt out stoplights. Deep vein thrombosis.<br />
Price of ipads. Waiting all day for monday night. Full fridge with nothing to eat <br />
First world problems. Malaria. The port authority. <br />
Christmas in july. Olive garden commercials. Poodles<br />
Bromance. The smell of latex dentist gloves. Kal penn.<br />
The taste of dentists gloves. Ivy league colleges. Tv series that run too long<br />
Encouraging rear end slaps. Birthing classes. Bubble letters. <br />
Lazy days. Walking dogs. Dinosaurs being extinct<br />
Tinsel. Spit cups. The ACT<br />
60 minutes. French arrogance. Country hicks<br />
Dating your therapist. Polluted marshes. Piñatas. <br />
Being on the most wanted list. Forgetting your age. Writing cursive<br />
Getting locked in the bathroom. Armoires. Globes too small to use. <br />
Low scoring football games. When bitches be trippin. Jon gruden<br />
America's obsession with football. Registering. Boogie fever. <br />
Jealous nhl fans cause their sport is suspended. Mad cow disease. Outsourcing<br />
The mucus plug. Not being able to get season tickets to a farm team for the major league of your favorite sport bc it doesn't exist bc the financial demands of it would cause it to collapse upon itself so in the event of a lockout you're stuck with some crappy collegiate alternative where the top 300 teams get a trophy of some kind instead of getting to see top major players set aside their ego just for a chance to play even if it is in the league just below their and then finding that even that level is a challenge for them. Furby.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-77261530765293442072012-12-05T09:34:00.001-06:002012-12-05T09:34:34.905-06:00Shenan againIt's always fun remembering the pranks you pulled on an obnoxious coworker with the help of a friend. Better when you can continue to do so from across the country.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-24663975485474970382012-12-05T08:36:00.001-06:002012-12-05T08:36:46.657-06:00Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat4,000 calorie diets are for the birds. If those birds were gluttonous one percenters who could actually afford to eat like this all the time.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-30305122188767897792012-12-04T08:04:00.001-06:002012-12-04T08:04:15.732-06:00Have your steak and eat it tooIf there was more justice in the world, meat would have more fiber in it.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-13690574540524074822012-12-04T07:52:00.001-06:002012-12-04T07:52:33.259-06:00You can't take it with you. Or maybe...New phone. New era. Same old rambling. There'll just be more of it. Aaaaaannnnddd ... brace.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-10580830400425016082012-10-02T23:00:00.001-05:002012-10-02T23:00:41.051-05:00When we meet again I'll ask you how you're doing, and you'll say fine; ask me how I'm doing, and then I'll lieThe good thing about this job is that there are only about five key phrases you need to memorize to connect with all of your potential clients/marks. They are creatures of habit, and all are built the same. At least in this area they are.<br />
<br />
And if all else fails, break out the James Stewart impression.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-44461476656406904122012-10-02T22:52:00.001-05:002012-10-02T22:52:58.107-05:00500David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-29234679468666757952012-09-23T21:32:00.002-05:002012-09-23T21:33:16.458-05:00If you're partial to the night sky; If you're vaguely attracted to rooftopsIt's that beautiful time of year when the fun happens in the dark.<br />
<br />
It's bearable to stand around outside, so let's get a grill.<br />
<br />
When the sun starts ducking behind the skyline early, the holiday smells start rising all about us.<br />
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And it's a good time to remember to put some reflective tape on your motorcycle helmet, because there's no way to ride it all the way home before dark most days.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-6502860924448877952012-08-15T19:07:00.001-05:002012-08-15T22:22:20.592-05:00Just wrap your legs around these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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And it's all mine...even the stupid smile against the blinding evening sun...into which I rode.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-37921407432961814872012-08-07T21:21:00.001-05:002012-08-15T22:22:40.352-05:00Mistakes we knew we were makingHow to nail the interview when trying to secure a place as a gymnastics or boxing judge for the Olympics:<br />
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-Selection committee: Do you have any previous professional experience scoring these types of events?<br />
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-Candidate: No, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.<br />
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-Selection committee: Welcome to the ranks.<br />
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Alternate answer as follows:<br />
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-Candidate: No, but I did save 15 percent on my car insurance by switching to Geico.<br />
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Once again, cash is king. The U.S. must not have had as much on hand, however, because they were only able to buy a bronze in the individual balance beam competition.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-24726540772037593652012-08-02T20:23:00.002-05:002012-08-02T20:23:42.516-05:00Dunce Dunce Revolution<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The current Olympic silver medal standard for a handstand on the pommel horse, or the new dance craze that is taking Japan by storm? You be the judge. And then I'll pay you cash to change your mind.<br />David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4489107294626117918.post-59076764682375704512012-07-30T23:13:00.002-05:002012-08-07T21:24:08.678-05:00'Til his puzzler was soreQuestions left by tonight's primetime coverage of the Games of the XXX Olympiad:<br />
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-Why run a Today Show promo announcing Missy Franklin's gold medal win in the women's 100m backstroke in the commercial break before the race airs? There is still a very, very, very small number of people who successfully avoid spoilers leaked on social media during the course of the day who enjoy the thrill of watching it live-ish.<br />
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-How much cash does it take to buy a silver medal in gymnastics? I couldn't get a good view of how much was in the wad clutched by the Japanese men's coach just before he handed it over to the judges for an "official inquiry." I want an Olympic medal, too, but I don't want to work very hard for it. Had I known they were up for sale like that, I would have made my dream come true of being lazy and still getting a medal through "official inquiry" while in London this year.<br />
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Hopefully the USA women's team will bring enough cash to the finals tomorrow for a golden "official inquiry," because I didn't see where the judges accepted card. And even if they did, they'd probably just build the three percent the credit cards take into the price of the "official inquiry." More than that, who knows if you're getting a fair price for the medal with the exchange rate and all. Still, it's a hell of a lot easier than earning it.David Dinsmorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17291218562214247143noreply@blogger.com0