Small and at large

What could have been

2009-11-10T01:11:00.002-06:00

I almost wrote this post from the toilet. Put that in your mental spin cycle.

The old ball and chain

2009-06-02T13:56:00.004-05:00

Before you sits the first object I've ever had that has ever forced me into debt. If you squint, you can see her through the front window.

Oh, and the car is ours, too.

If it ain't broke...

2009-06-02T13:49:00.002-05:00

I haven't logged onto this thing in almost a year, but the Web site operates exactly the same way.

Maybe this means everything works perfectly, so they don't need to change anything. Or it means they acted like any good little media outlet and fired everyone who does any real work.

Babel away

2008-06-18T13:40:00.002-05:00

Since I don't write much on my blog anymore, one my favorite things to do lately is surf the Internet through Yahoo! Babel Fish and read Web sites in Spanish. Especially my newspaper's Web site. Mucho awesome.

Up, up and away

2008-06-11T19:42:00.003-05:00

I made it back from Wewoka Lake safely. Amy, however, did not.

The 45 mph gusts carried her to Oz during the trip. It'll get you, my pretty.

In all seriousness, the wind did annihilate the support loops -- held down by tent stakes -- pinning the canopy to the ground.

Throw me a rope or something

2008-06-11T19:38:00.002-05:00

So I was a doing a story on government funding delaying a road improvement project in our area. Yeah, my head hurts, too.

Charlie Chaplin died of natural causes

2008-06-07T23:21:00.001-05:00

I thought that was a tidbit not many would know. I may be wrong.

Friends at work

2008-06-07T23:17:00.001-05:00

I don't encourage people to make friends at work, especially when you work in the media. They will mercilessly berate you for the tiniest mistakes in your blog posts. Who needs verbs?

Has anyone seen Billy?

2008-06-06T21:12:00.002-05:00

So the mosquitoes in Oklahoma are not nearly as bad as those back home. Well, at the very least, they don't have the ability to carry small children away into the night.

Do not pass Go

2008-05-15T21:50:00.001-05:00

I just got my check stub today. They might as well pay me in Monopoly money.

Good thing you had your receipt

2008-05-14T18:11:00.003-05:00

So, I did my patriotic duty and blew both Amy's and my rebate check on a new HDTV.

We bought it in Shreveport because I could get it cheaper there. Don't ask how, but I got $600 off, so score one for me.

As we're loading it up into the car two days later for its two-hour trip back home, we notice a problem. The front plastic framing on the top right corner of the television was gone. They sold me a broken television. No wonder it was $600 off.

It was exchanged without a problem the next day -- but not by me. So my brand new, freaking awesome television is sitting at my family's house in Shreveport while I pine for its beauty 120 miles away.

Alas, mi amor.

What line?

2008-05-14T18:05:00.003-05:00

OK, I might have crossed over into impropriety and gone a little far on the last post. "Kelli" apparently agrees with me.

I was just tired of opening the Yahoo home page and seeing gifts I bought my mom for Mother's Day showing up on the "Worst Gifts" lists.

Come on! She asked for new dishwashing gloves. Give me a break.

I thought about asking my Pop what Mom wanted, and that's when this thought hit me.

You know how sometimes people -- particularly spouses -- tell you what to get for someone for a birthday or special event, and then it turns out to be what the teller really wanted rather than the recipient?

So I thought what would I tell my children to get their mom for Mother's Day if it was something I actually wanted. Assuming they can't afford a new HDTV, I would go straight for the lingerie.

Do you have this in a medium?

2008-05-11T10:01:00.002-05:00

The winner for creepiest gift for mom on Mother's Day... lingerie.

Man that was an awkward 15 minutes in Victoria's Secret.

Down with one terrible roar

2008-05-09T17:05:00.002-05:00

Is it just around here or is everyone having problems avoiding the birds dipping across the road at bumper or windshield level?

Meet me by the flagpole

2008-05-07T21:05:00.002-05:00

Be sure my sure to check out our Web site to read about grown men getting into a fistfight... at the school board office, no less.

The "what ifs" will kill you

2008-05-06T17:29:00.003-05:00

One of the sample labels given by Blogger to categorize posts is "scooters." It would be a gas to blog about scooters if only I had enough to write about them.

No longer an unknown

2008-05-06T17:26:00.002-05:00

Wii no longer would only like to play. Wii does play. Wii plays with Amy and me. All day and all night. Freaky deaky.

Went to Mars there for a minute...

2008-05-06T16:52:00.004-05:00

...but I'm back now, and I've got T-shirts for everybody!

The newspaper's upgraded Web site just launched, and it has a social networking function now. So I have been working on setting up that profile. In the meantime, this blog became neglected.

The best part is that the newsroom is not only as wide open as ever to hate mail in the guise of criticism, they can now post it directly on our profile pages. Booyah.

What goes down must come up

2008-05-03T16:12:00.002-05:00

That's exactly what my Spiderman yo-yo does. Since my dart pistol became unusable due to the brute force of a co-worker, I now use Peter Parker's alter ego to help me relieve stress.

My coworkers, however, are not as amused when hit with the yo-yo as they were when I used darts.

When I dream of Michelangelo

2008-05-02T02:30:00.001-05:00

Sometimes you just have to sit under the teaching of Mr. Duritz and company.

I see angels overhead.

Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?

2008-05-01T17:17:00.002-05:00

My health insurance finally kicked in today. The impact of this is twofold:

1) I will no longer enjoy the thrill of making money because it all goes to making sure I'm covered for things that probably will never happen.
2) I will now wear my Heelys 24/7 with minimal fear of a shattered elbow.

We're just ordinary people; we don't know which way to go.

2008-05-01T17:11:00.002-05:00

Wow have I not done much lately. Amy and I went and had dinner with my work friend, Abbey after punching out on the clock.

There is a pet adoptathon this weekend, and I will be striving to keep Amy as far away as possible. We just can't afford our complex's pet fee.

We -- sadly yes, we -- read the fourth Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants this week. I was taking a break from watching Miami Vice at night, and there was not much else to do.

Ah, who am I kidding. I read the other three a few years back. I don't know why, but those girls get me.

Face it ladies; I'm older and have more insurance

2008-04-28T20:29:00.002-05:00

We put our minds at ease and got some renter's insurance -- something I scoffed at when it was first mentioned to me. But then I saw how cheap it was.

If they ask, our bedroom set cost $198,000, but why would they ask?

Flushed away

2008-04-26T17:44:00.002-05:00

The toilet in the men's restroom near my desk must be powered by jet fuel. I fear for my life when reaching to flush it, because I never know it could be my last.

What's fun about it, however, is when I know there is someone waiting outside the door for me to finish, so I hit the handle and make a screaming noise that decrescendos like the sound of Wile E. Coyote falling off of a cliff.

Stop looking at me, swan

2008-04-26T17:37:00.002-05:00

Gmail is going through my personal things.

My friend Kelli -- you might know her from the comments on this blog -- and I have had a three-email conversation about pool tables and foosball tables.

And when I go back and look at them, the advertisements on the side of the screen are all about parlor table games.

Also, I noticed awhile back that when I sent another friend my address, Gmail translated the abbreviation "Apt." and gives me links to a bunch of online apartment hunting sites.

What do you want from me, Gmail?! Why are you watching me?!